Michelle Duggar lost her baby today. She was in her second trimester and found out at a routine check up. As most of you know I am an AVID Duggar fan, and my heart is saddened tonight to hear of this news. It stirs up so many past emotions for me.
Both of my miscarriages were very different but tonight I am sending many happy thoughts up to my beautiful angel babies. Man, I can't wait to meet them. My first miscarriage was completely unexpected, I had no idea until I started cramping and eventually contracting, and lost that baby naturally, which I will be honest was awful.
My second miscarriage we knew things did not look good from the beginning based on my "numbers." That situation was also awful as I endured two weeks of not knowing whether my baby was going to make it or not. Unfortunately there had been no growth for those two weeks, and no heartbeat at my 8 week ultrasound. That time around I elected to have a d&c as I could not endure another natural "passing." For those that have experienced this, you know what I mean. That day at the hospital ranks up there with the second worst day of my life, and thinking back, it wasn't any easier than going the natural route. I am so blessed with our first born, and thank God for him every day. I am now expecting our 2nd and things are going very well.
I am so thankful tonight, for all four of my babies. Two of which I am blessed with the great anticipation of meeting some day, and two of which God has entrusted me to raise. Feeling many emotions tonight, blessed, saddened, angry, mournful, eager, blessed. Incredibly blessed.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
We've Reached The 3rd Trimester!!
Oh, the wonderful 3rd Trimester. Don't you love how when you get to this point in pregnancy people often say, "Oh you're almost done!" Somehow they feel that is supposed to be encouraging. While I appreciate people's positivity, the 3rd trimester is so uncomfortable! For me I go straight from the toilet bowl days of the 1st trimester to the uncomfortable, can't sleep days of the 3rd. There is no "honeymoon" stage of pregnancy for me. While I toss and turn all night long, it gives me plenty of time to be up at night, thanking my God for getting me this far.
There were days in the beginning of this pregnancy when I wondered if I would make it to 6 weeks, then I got excited about reaching the 10 week mark. The first three months drag by for me and even then I'm not breathing easy. With 2 miscarriages in my past, pregnancy is such a miracle to me. I start relaxing and becoming excited around 16 -18 weeks. This time around we were able to find out the gender at 16 weeks and seeing our little boy on that screen made me jump for joy, and breathe a sigh of relief. Praise God for technology!
So it's been a long road, but the time truly has seemed to fly. When you have a little one constantly at your feet, dumping out drawers, and getting into the unimaginable, you don't have as much time to think about how long the pregnancy is taking!! Sutton keeps me more than busy, but that has been a good thing this time around as I feel like I have blinked and miraculously I'm 28 weeks pregnant. It's true what they say about the 2nd pregnancy going much faster, and I'm sure subsequent pregnancies as well.
I am so thankful to be at this point. The painful kicks, and sleepless nights are so worth it when I sit and dream of meeting my beautiful baby boy. This is a time of great anticipation for me. I revel in the miracle of conception, pregnancy and birth. Our God is quite incredible. The bible says "God is good." Is that sufficient? It seems almost demeaning. We serve an incredible God, and I feel so lucky to be carrying one of his children. So for the next couple of months I will try to soak up the joys (although there are few for me) of pregnancy and continue to be thankful for this life inside of me. 80 days and counting :)
There were days in the beginning of this pregnancy when I wondered if I would make it to 6 weeks, then I got excited about reaching the 10 week mark. The first three months drag by for me and even then I'm not breathing easy. With 2 miscarriages in my past, pregnancy is such a miracle to me. I start relaxing and becoming excited around 16 -18 weeks. This time around we were able to find out the gender at 16 weeks and seeing our little boy on that screen made me jump for joy, and breathe a sigh of relief. Praise God for technology!
So it's been a long road, but the time truly has seemed to fly. When you have a little one constantly at your feet, dumping out drawers, and getting into the unimaginable, you don't have as much time to think about how long the pregnancy is taking!! Sutton keeps me more than busy, but that has been a good thing this time around as I feel like I have blinked and miraculously I'm 28 weeks pregnant. It's true what they say about the 2nd pregnancy going much faster, and I'm sure subsequent pregnancies as well.
I am so thankful to be at this point. The painful kicks, and sleepless nights are so worth it when I sit and dream of meeting my beautiful baby boy. This is a time of great anticipation for me. I revel in the miracle of conception, pregnancy and birth. Our God is quite incredible. The bible says "God is good." Is that sufficient? It seems almost demeaning. We serve an incredible God, and I feel so lucky to be carrying one of his children. So for the next couple of months I will try to soak up the joys (although there are few for me) of pregnancy and continue to be thankful for this life inside of me. 80 days and counting :)
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