Do you ever feel like God's personal ball of Silly Putty? I sure have the past few months. In every category of my life, I feel like God is stretching me beyond what is comfortable for me. Spiritually, physically, in my marriage, friendships, finances, mentally, emotionally, in my business, motherhood, literally EVERY area. I have heard myself during prayer saying, "God, if you pull any harder I will break, I will literally turn into a billion little (very messy) pieces of silly putty. Please God, stop pulling, I can't take any more, please let go, give me a break!!!"
Physically, obviously I am a blubbering 8 month pregnant lady, waddling around like I belong on a iceberg with my other penguin friends. Quite literally feeling STRETCHED! I am so so thankful for this pregnancy, and those of you who know me, know that I am more grateful than most, however I am done! Pregnancy is not what I would call, enjoyable, for me. I am exhausted, pretty much don't sleep at night, am very uncomfortable in more ways than one, my back is killing me the list could go on forever. However my strength comes from the Lord, and I know there is a day very soon, where I will be up holding my precious gift from God, and any mom knows that feeling makes it ALL worth it!
Spiritually, I am stretched to the max as well. In the past few months I stepped up my game spiritually. I am loving having some quiet time with God again, which got pushed to the bottom of my list for way too long. I love being in the presence of the Lord. My mission to become a better "Proverbs 31 wife" is off and running and could quite possibly be the hardest thing I have ever done. She leaves a lot for the average American woman to live up to! Another stretching activity for the Lord that I know he is loving watch unfold! With Jason's new job and therefore schedule it is harder for Jason to make it to church, and small group. A change we are just going to have to pray about and work through. Speaking of small group, we just started a new "velocity group" last week. That brings with it a new set of challenges spiritually which I am looking forward to. We have great people in our group, and I am looking forward to getting to know everyone. I have issues though with missing our old small group. What we were used to, what we were comfortable with. Another stretching area for the Lord in my life. The small group that Jason and I met in, was really an extension of family for us, we still keep in contact with most of them. I hope and pray that this new group will eventually reach the point of family. Until then I pray that God would create that kind of environment, soften everyone's hearts and challenge all of us to walk closer with him. In time I know all of this will sort itself out. Only in God's timing, not mine. :)
Motherhood - Pregnancy aside, motherhood has been super hard lately. It's just the stage of life we are in right now, but it has been STRETCHING to say the least. Jason has started a new job, which has left me alone some nights and some very long days when he needs to be sleeping upstairs and my job is to keep the downstairs as peaceful as possible, not easy. Part of my "Proverbs 31" mission included making meal time a priority. That has become increasingly difficult with Jason's new hours. Some nights it is mission accomplished, however there are nights where it's just Sutton and I, other nights where Jason doesn't get home until 8:30. (At that point I'm like "find something in the fridge, I am spent and going to bed !") I know, I said this "Proverbs 31" thing was a process, I am by no means good at it yet! :) We know this job change will be fruitful in the long run, but right now we are in the HARD stage!!!
Sutton is in this stage where he is into everything! I am not sure you understand, EVERYTHING!!!! If I am unloading the dishwasher, I have to do it lightening speed or there will be silverware in my couch cushions, and sippy cups in the toilet. Cooking dinner is like mission impossible. I have to give him something to "cook" in order for me to even defrost some chicken. Most of the time I just let him empty all the drawers and pick it all back up later. I am learning to pick my battles. The other night Jason sat down for dinner... on the potato masher. Woops, sorry honey, Sutton was "cooking!" :) The other day I looked up from cooking lunch and every single couch cushion was on the floor in a pile Sutton was jumping into. ... enough said. He will find ANYTHING to use a stool to climb on everything imaginable. He is a VERY busy boy!!! I am so grateful for these days and I know I will look back and laugh, but with baby on the way, many days I wonder how I will do it all? By the grace of God, right?
Lately I have felt like a ball of silly putty on the hamster wheel of life, WHAT A MESS!!! By the time my head hits the pillow at night, I feel like a million little stringy stretched out pieces of silly putty. I have nothing left. I rest in God's word.
Lamentations 3:23 "Great is his faithfulness, his mercies are new each morning"
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
By morning, each day without fail, the Lord puts me all back together. Ready for another day of stretching. :)
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